An Avenger's Gaiden, Featuring Special Guest Star Chris Pratt
by Animite
Summary: On a mysterious forested island, the new Avengers meet a mysterious stranger who will forever alter their collective destinies.


**When last we left our heroes...**

 **Captain America and Ironman were transporting Loki, a dangerous megalomaniac with glowing black hair, to a maximum security prison facility. On route, their helicopter encountered a thunderstorm. From out of the lightning, a strange being landed on the copter and made off with the fugitive to a nearby convenient island. Ironman and Cap, none the worse for the wear, both gave chase in pursuit of a potential new enemy...**

"Jarvis, give me a tactical," Iroman said as he sailed through the night air, approaching mach-one.

"Certainly, sir. Captain America has already made landfall on the island below. Currently, he is in front of the intruder blocking his way to the target."

"Good," said Ironman. "If anything changes, let me know."

"Of course, sir," said Jarvis. "Landing procedures shall commence in approximately 3.72 milliseconds. And sir, it's your move."

Tony Stark looked at his monitor and noted a neon pawn appear on his tactical display.

"Ah," said Ironman. "What was your last move?"

"I shall bring it up for you, sir," said Jarvis. A chess board appeared on the display.

"Ah, you played Bf5," said Stark. "Still playing for the center I see."

"Of course, sir," said Jarvis. "When one controls the center in chess, they control the outcome."

"Don't tell that to the people who swear by the Modern or Indian openings," said Ironman. "That philosophy is built on playing from the corners to discourage beginning play in the center."

"That is true," said Jarvis, "but the idea of starting a game from a position other than moving the king and queen pawns is still in the infancy of stages. Since the bulk of games played over the centuries rely on center play, I will utilize my moves from the vaster database rather than the smaller recent one."

"That's defeatist talk," said Stark. "Even with tech that puts you mountains above Deep Blue, you still choose the safe path. If you want to shake up a world of thought, you need to be on the forefront of it, shaking up the sticks in the mud."

"It may be that I don't share your view of changing the world, sir. Remember I am only an A.I. The algorithms I mimic can be no greater than what the programs dictate."

"Correct as usual," said Ironman. "Maybe when all this is done, I'll have to do some tweaking with the code to see if I can't get a little more elastic thinking out of you.

And sir, we've arrived," said Jarvis. The Ironman suit slammed into the ground at full blast, creating a small crater in ground around delicate green ferns.

"Good," said Ironman. "Keep the tactical up just in case we get any other visitors from the clouds tonight. But keep the game up. I might get bored."

"Certainly," Jarvis said.

Ironman rose from the ground as the three supermen sized each other up, walking about in their Mexican circle of death.

It was Cap who spoke first. "We don't want a fight. We only want the prisoner. He needs to pay for the crimes he's committed."

"No," shouted the bearded stranger as he beat his chest like an alpha ape. "The prisoner thou transportest is Loki, mine half brother. He shall not go with the likes of thee, blue stranger. Verily shall my adopted brother pay for acts most foul and heinous in the vaulted feast hall of Odin All-Father. There shall his fate be decided. Not here in the blighted lands of Midgard."

"Swell," said Ironman crossing his arms. "Our ride's been hijacked by a renaissance fair worker. Say, Erik the Viking, why don't you put that plastic hammer down and we'll all settle for broke."

"Enough, jesting fool," shouted the bearded stranger. "I did not travel from the high courts of Asgard only to be mocked by a silver-tongued knight. I shall take my leave of you both with my brother. That is the word of Thor."

"Yeah, well fun as this Shakespeare revival was, I think there are two critics who object to the whole performance," said Ironman bringing his glowing palms to bear on bearded Thor.

"Guys. Gents. We don't need to be fighting like this," said Cap raising his arms diplomatically. "Thor if you come with us back to base, I'm sure we can find a way to satisfy both parties."

"Blue man, do you dare attempt a parlay with an Asgardian immortal? Were you but ants or the buzzing of flies, I would swat and crush you with the wave of mighty Moljner if you do not give me my quarry. I shall have my way."

"Some one call for an exterminator?" said Ironman. The glowing repulsor lasers glowed white, ready unleash arc energy. "Here are the flyswatters,"

"No wait," called Cap. No one listened.

"No wait," called another voice. Everyone listened that time.

The three heroes watched as a man on a motorcycle broke through the clearing. The bike came crashing through the brush and ground to a screeching halt. The man, a dashing figure in designer pants, a rugged blue shirt and small leather vest swung one leg around the back of the bike and slid off in smooth fashion.

The rugged man approached the three heroes, but he didn't walk like a normal man. He spread his legs like a sumo wrestler and spread his arms. Each step was slow and deliberate.

The heroes were confused.

"Uh, sir?" said Cap. "You're going to have to clear this area. It's not safe for civilians."

"Oh I wouldn't know about that," said Ironman. "He could do his kung fu crab walk while we rough up the woods a bit."

"Ah, I knewest thine intentions," said Thor. "Thou wishest a battle to decide the fates. So be it."

"Wait. Wait. Wait," said the rugged man. "Just calm down and follow my hands."

The heroes were confused.

"Who are you anyway?" Ironman said. "My tactical didn't pick you up. This island should be deserted."

"The name's Pratt. I'm here to stop you from hurting yourselves; and I will reveal your true destiny. You guys shouldn't be fighting."

"Does anyone believe this?" said Ironman smirking through his grim faceplate. "How are you going to do that, Alan Quartermain?"

"You mean you guys don't remember me? Time's passed, sure, but I didn't think you would forget."

Pratt paused in thought for a moment. "Let me try something. Ironman, I'll start with you."

Pratt did his slow deliberate walk toward Ironman the nonbeliever. His eyes never moved from their glowing targets.

"Come on," said Pratt. "Remember."

"Ah, sir I think I should warn you,"

"Not now, Jarvis," interrupted Ironman.

"Yes, but sir you should know that your vital signs are behaving erratically. This man can't be causing it."

"No, it's just a tick. I'm fine, really."

"Sir, your heartbeat is slowing to a rhythm suggestive of a hypnotic state. Your alpha waves are increasing."

"Sorry, what did you say Jarvis?"

"I said...no it appears you are in a completely inert state. I doubt saying or doing anything could help you at this point. I shall have to fly you to safety."

"Jarvis, I can hear you in there," said Pratt. "And I can't allow you to go. Override code Alpha-Tango-Foxtrot-Hogan-Potts-Schwarma."

"Emergency protocols deactivated. Returning to normal power. By your command, Mr. Pratt."

"Thank-you Jarvis," said Pratt. He turned to the Asgardian. "Now, it's your turn, Norseman."

"Surely thou jestest better than the metal man," sneered Thor. "A noble born of Asgardian royalty does not submit to a mere mortal."

"Maybe, but I'll give it a try," said Pratt as he started his slow walk to the place where the thunder god stood.

"Thine efforts are wasted Pratt," said Thor.

"Shh. Shh," Pratt whispered. "Don't move."

He drew ever nearer to Thor. He walked until he came they nearly came face to face.

"There's so much self-importance. So much id," said Pratt. "But just like an onion, we're peeling away the layers to the center."

"I...I...I" muttered Thor.

"Don't talk," whispered Pratt. "Only remember. Who am I?"

There was silence.

"Who am I?" he repeated again.

The thunder god tensed his immense muscles and relaxed, dropping his hammer to the ground. Tears welled up in his eyes as he started to sob.

"Ma...ma...mommy," said Thor over and over again.

"There, there," said Pratt. He patted the massive miles gloriosis on golden locks that shimmered in the dead of night.

"Right, you've done your tricks on those two, but it won't work on me," said Cap. "You don't look like you're over thirty years old. I'm over 80. There's no way you could know me or my past."

"I know you, Stephen," said Pratt. "You and I go way back. You just need to remember it. That's all."

He started his advance on Cap.

"I'm sorry. I don't..."

"Think back, Steve," said Pratt pointing a finger to head and by default his rugged waves of hair. "Think to before the super soldier experiment. Back before the war. At the theater."

"I don't know what you're talking about," said Cap.

"The old theater in Brooklyn," said Pratt. "You and Bucky were at that theater. You were watching news reels of the war effort. There was a heckler. You tried to put him in his place verbally. In the alley by the theater, he put you in your place physically. But someone came to help you."

"I know what you're talking about," said Cap. "It was Bucky. He beat that hooligan and sent him packing."

"No," said Pratt. "That's where you're wrong. Think back to that event. Think back. Think hard." As Pratt approached, he made "surf's up" signs with his hands and waved them about, chanting softly.

"I remember what happened. Bucky saved me and helped me up. I brushed myself off and we wandered away chuckling. That's all."

"Who was there with you in that alley?" said Pratt drawing ever nearer with his hypnotic advance. "Who was there with you?"

"It was Bucky," said Cap. "It was Buck...it was Bu," Cap's inner eye focused as his thoughts took him to that long forgotten day. Beaten to a sound pulp. Brought up a trash can lid for defense. It did no good. Back in the garbage. Then an image, someone took hold of the bully and struck him to the pavement with a single blow. The bully fled. The blurred image reached his hand down and pulled him up from the stinking refuse. He came into focus.

"It wasn't Bucky?" said Cap coming back to the present. "It wasn't Bucky. It was you."

"That's right," said Pratt. "I was with you. I was with you all from the beginning. It didn't matter the time or the place. It was imprinting."

"Yes, we all know it," the three heroes said with one voice.

Pratt jumped on his motorbike and put on his helmet.

"What do we do now?" asked Ironman.

"Now...we ride," said Pratt looking over his shoulder. "The park needs our help. We have to save it from the greatest evil the world has ever known. That evil is Imperius Rex and his newfound ally Namor, the Submariner.'"

"Imperius Rex and Namor together," said Cap. "Then don't have a moment to lose."

Chris Pratt revved his bike to life; it spit up dirt and sped off into the forest. Ironman, Captain America, and Thor flew and sprinted to his side. The party of unstoppable justice left the clearing. Undeterred, the group slipped past trees and wound rushing round the undergrowth to save the free world yet again.

THE END


End file.
